Do you find yourself wishing you could be more confident at times? Wishing you had the gift of the gab and the effortless charisma to be the life of the party? Or even just the ability to make decisions with unwavering conviction?

There is no denying that confidence is a very useful and attractive trait at work and in life outside of work.

Confidence enable and empowers both the person welding it and others around them. Little wonder people are attracted to confidence.

The dark side of confidence is arrogance. One can be mistaken for the other at first glance.

Arrogance deprives, diminishes and exploits. It is about dominance and winning, me versus them.

Confidence is grounded in good self esteem and self acceptance. When we are secure and comfortable about who we are and what we stand for, we can operate with a greater sense of certainty and clarity. We are also free to engage with others more openly and on a more equal basis; because we have nothing we need to prove.

Arrogance is the opposite. It is the need to constantly assert and impose oneself on the outside. It is about aggressively maintain an external illusion to mask the poor self esteem and fear that lies on the inside.

If you worry about whether you are arrogant, you probably are not. Self awareness, self reflection are usually incompatible with arrogance.

You may be more confident than you realise.

Being confident does not eradicate doubt. But it does enable us to handle it much more effectively and with way less stress.